Celebrating Success & Facing Failure

I did it. I graduated Nursing School. Never in my life have I felt such a sense of accomplishment. Nursing School was one of the

most difficult obstacles I have ever overcome. Many life changes have happened during this time; the birth of my special need son and going through a divorce just to name a few. I feel so blessed to have so many people who cared enough to push me when I was about to give up. My mother and sisters for babysitting and offering moral support. For my dear nursing friends who never gave up on me and refused to let me give up. Noelia, Ana, Kim, and Diala. Names that will always have a special place in my heart! Success is so much more sweet when you can share it with the ones you love. One of the sweetest moments during our Graduation Ceremony was watching my 9 year old son clap and wave as I walked across the stage to receive my diploma. That moment alone, made it all worthwhile.

Nursing school took me a total of 6 years to complete. Every day I would think of how I could not wait for it to be over. However, when it's over...it's not REALLY over! The entire time we are preparing for our dreaded state boards. The NCLEX. This is the licensure exam that gives nurses the title "Registered Nurse." Well, provided you pass the boards that is. Studying, studying, and more studying. Exam after exam. Practice test after practice test. It all builds up to the big day.

So, there I was, sitting in a cubicle along side 8 other nurse wanna-be's. Now, when taking the NCLEX you can get anywhere from 75-265. Usually if the computer shuts off at around 75 you know you did well. When I hit 76 questions, I started to get really nervous. Then I hit 100, 150, 200, and finally 265. I was devastated. I knew I failed. After I hit 200, I felt like I was just clicking answers. Everything was a blur. The next day I received confirmation that I did in fact, FAIL. I felt like a failure and extremely humiliated. It was so difficult! How could I fail this? I spent the last 6 years of my life preparing for this exam! All I can do is study hard and hope to nail it the next time around.

I guess this serves as an important lesson that failure is a part of life. We just have to take it for what it is and go with it!

The Pits

It's been a while since I have posted. I have been having a hellish semester, to say the least! I am doing my Adult Med Surg class right now and I feel like I am drowning!! Help!! I am excelling in my clinical but the tests in this class are nothing less than impossible!! I have done fairly well in all of my other classes....but this one is a beast!! I hope I survive!!!

My L&D Nightmare!

If you haven't read the latest post over at At Your Cervix....you really need to go over and read it. It just is a great example of how nurses do and should advocate for their patients!! Sometimes we can fall into the hands of the wrong professional, and things could go terribly wrong!!

I was 21 when I had my first child and extremely naive. I had no major problems and a relatively healthy pregnancy. About 8.5 months along, I was not feeling well and voiced this to my Dr. several times. He convinced me that this was very normal being so close to my delivery date...and I figured it was. My due date was Sept 9th and that came and went in a flash. I was constantly having unbearable pressure and unsteady contractions. Finally, the evening of Sept 28th....I knew it was time. My contractions were about 3 minutes a part and intensifying very quickly. I was ready. I with my husband checked myself into L&D and was relieved to find out my Dr. was already there. I could barely handle the pain...I was having back labor. The nurse checked me and I was about 3 cm dilated. The doctor came into the room...looked at me and said "I'm not sure if we are even going to keep you.....I don't know if this is actual labor yet." WHAT!! Are you friggin kidding me man!! I am almost 3 weeks over due and feel like something is going tear me in half!! He left the room and I told the nurse I was not leaving....she agreed with me that I Was in fact in labor. About 4 hrs later I received and epidural at about 5.5 cm dilated. The next morning, my doctor turned off my epidural and yanked up the pitocin....I felt like I was going to die....as most women do when in labor. He kept yelling at me to push...except...I had No urge to push at all and I was still numb from the epidural. He got the vaccum out, cut me every which way, and tried to pull my son out. He was stuck. Then he tried forceps...nope...no dice. Then he cut me some more....didn't know I had anything left to cut!! He put the vaccum back on my sons head and kept pulling while yelling at the nurse. Finally my son was delivered and not breathing. He had swallowed meconium from all the distress during labor.

He was then intubated and taken to the NICU...luckily he recovered quickly...but we did have to leave him at the hospital a week after my discharge. I however could not even sit down. I had to sit on my side at all times. It was so incredibly painful and uncomfortable....did I mention that

his colleague was in pure shock when she checked my episiotme before I was discharged? Well, to sum things up, I ended up incontinent for about a year after giving birth and had to have full reconstructive surgery to repair what the Dr. did. I have permanent nerve damage and cannot have children naturally.....only by c-section now. It was a nightmare! When I went for my check-up after my son was born, I was politely handed a letter saying that he did not take my insurance anymore.....how convenient huh?

Of course since this whole ordeal I switched Dr.'s and delivered my second son by c-section last year. It was really nice to sit down after I had the 2nd one!!! LOL!!

School Time Again!

Well, I would be lying if I didn't say I wasn't excited about getting back to school. I am really looking forward to getting back into clinical work and being one step closer to RN. Although it still seems like a lifetime away, experiencing clinicals validates why I want to be a nurse. I really look forward to graduating,, staying home with our youngest son who is special needs (he has a nurse who cares for him while I'm in school) and working part-time. I really hope to get a job in an intensive care setting seeing as I would like to eventually become a neonatal Nurse Practioner. I could never of gotten thru the difficult moments with my youngest w/o the support of the nurses who treated him. I will always be grateful for their compassion. I also would love to come across children with the same diagnosis as my son. This is Cornelia de Lange Sydrome...aka CDLS.

One of my favorite things about starting a new semester is SCHOOL SUPPLIES! I am a junkie! I love school supplies, office supplies...all that stuff! There is nothing like new pens, notebooks, and planners!! Love it!! I know....I'm a dork!

UGH!!!

I am so frustrated trying to get all of my paper work together before school starts in 2 weeks. I needed to get documentation of certain immunizations I have had in the past and ended up in a fight with my old doctor's office! You think most Dr.'s should know the difference between a PPD and TDaP! Anyways, long story short....I have since changed offices:)

NCLEX

So, being that I have the summer off, I have been practicing some of my NCLEX questions. What are some of the best study materials you use or have used to study for the NCLEX exam? I currently am using the NCLEX 3000 CD along with a few books from school.

Schools Out!

Okay...so the spring 09 semester has officially come to an end....my summer class has officially started. I am taking my nursing health promotions class and need to come up with a topic to do my presentation on. I really want it to be unique. As some of you know, I have a special needs baby, and would really like to incorporate this somehow...but that may be difficult. See, I need to present this at a local community center where people from the community come to get educated on various health topics such as breast cancer and such. We can also go to an elementary school and present there...perhaps proper universal precautions? Ahhh so many things to think about....any suggestions are welcome!!

Anyways, a great site for all of you to visit!! Scrubs online magazine: http://www.scrubsmag.com/

This has some great and fun info for nurses and nurse students. I have a little article posted here: http://www.scrubsmag.com/articles/beauty/your-life/lipstick-stat#1 and hopefully will be contributing on a regular basis!! Very exciting for me!! It is a great resourceful site with some great stories from experienced RN's. It really reminds me why I want to be a nurse!! Stop by and visit....it is a really fun place!!